“SubPrime: StayCation” is a thirty-minute performance aligned with a high-tide dusk in northeast Florida, contending with Florida real estate and land-grabbing, ecological time, and (dis)location of US capitalism against the landscape. In this performance, a real estate figure, wearing a dusty-femme pantsuit, lounges on a Florida beach at dusk as the tide rolls in. The figure hauls Barefoot wine spritzers, sticky notes, and a purse filled with shrimp cocktails to the shore while they contemplate how to be a better (sales)person, capitalize on nature, become a “girlboss,” and stay “true.” This stream-of-consciousness performance harrowingly highlights topical platitudes of positivity, a history of White land ownership in Florida, the socio-politics of feel-good and feminist capitalism, loneliness, and queer-desire. The performance ends when the figure finishes eating and drinking, the sun sets, and the affirmation sticky notes are washed away in the tide.